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Literature Text
“Soldier” a Hesirion fragment.
A cloud, the shape of a river bloated corpse, drifted lazily across the evening sky. Far below, its sluggish progress was noticed and as quickly dismissed by a ragged cloaked soldier.
Short well made boots unfurnished with spurs, unusual for this country, tramped the beaten earth road. Loose fitting hosen of black buckskin, strapped to the knee in the fashion of the northlander mercenaries, again rare for this country, showed a thick layer of dry dust from the sun blasted soil. His leg wear alone would have signalled him as a stranger to any of the watchful here in the heart of Al-Khetir Province.
Not a tall man but broad, he wore beneath his cloak a fine, if well used coat of mail that covered his chest, arms and thighs; fastened at the waist by a thick sword belt from which hung a plain scabbard with simple brass fittings. The mail, broken and patched in places, revealed a black padded and polished gambeson of leather underneath.
His left arm and shoulder were further protected by a mismatched set of plate. His left hand, sheathed in a battered gauntlet the quality of which could still be seen from the remaining silver inlay, rested upon the heavy unfussy pommel of his long straight sword. Well balanced, and with its blade honed on both sides to a razors edge it was a butcher’s tool, so unlike the dress swords worn by most of Al-Khetir’s courtiers.
The coif of his mail coat hung loose over the gathered hood of his mud spattered black cloak, the leather fastening straps flapping in the dying wind about a palm sized brazen clasp, fashioned in the shape of a raven.
His head, bare of a helmet or cap, showed his long salt and pepper hair, a gathering of which was shaped into the topknot so favoured by the tribesmen of the Cuimmi and the Whiddermen of the sleet whipped North. The rest was gathered loosely below the nape into an unruly plait that hung to his waist. Unshaven, broken nosed and lined with half a dozen scars, some of which cut into his beard, his face was not that of a man used to a soft existence. Yet for all that he was not an ugly man. His grey-green eyes showed wit and intellect, and his few friends, scattered as they were to the far north and east, would no doubt vouch that on the rare occasions that he chose to smile it belied a warmth of character that softened his usual feral looks.
Across his back was slung a plain leather bag, a canvas sack filled with arrows and a painted black war bow that from bone tip to bone tip measured a full hands breadth taller than its owner, the bone knocks again wrought into the shape of ravens.
His alien appearance was finished with a loose slung belt hanging from his left shoulder where it crossed his chest and was fixed to the sword belt with a brass fitting. From this were hung a simple leather covered buckler, battered and bent, seemingly having been used as a punching weapon as much as a defence against a sword; and two sheaths.
The first of these housed a common bone handled knife, typical of a soldier, and used for his everyday needs of cutting hempen rope, trimming leather straps and eating his food. The second concealed a ten inch blade of the finest steel, surmounted with a sharpened U-shaped guard designed not only to trap an opponent’s sword blade, but to puncture their flesh. The unusual dagger’s ivory handle was exquisitely carved into the likeness of two winged serpents entwined, whether as lovers or bitter foes it was impossible to tell.
Every so often as he marched the soldier would reach his closed right hand and nudge the buckler as if to try and cover the dragon handled blade, but the action of his walking would invariably cause it to reappear.
His right hand, itself sheathed in a black leather glove that reached half way to his mail-covered elbow, never unclenched, gripped fast around an object more curious and exotic than the soldier and the dragon wrought knife put together.
For though he didn’t know it, and though he would not have had the words in any of the dozen languages that that he could speak, he held in his fist the silver coloured handset of a mobile phone.
Somewhere above, the corpse shaped cloud slowly transformed itself into the likeness of a sprinting hare and continued its journey west, while far below a ragged cloaked soldier walked south towards a city.
………………
17/06/05
h.
A cloud, the shape of a river bloated corpse, drifted lazily across the evening sky. Far below, its sluggish progress was noticed and as quickly dismissed by a ragged cloaked soldier.
Short well made boots unfurnished with spurs, unusual for this country, tramped the beaten earth road. Loose fitting hosen of black buckskin, strapped to the knee in the fashion of the northlander mercenaries, again rare for this country, showed a thick layer of dry dust from the sun blasted soil. His leg wear alone would have signalled him as a stranger to any of the watchful here in the heart of Al-Khetir Province.
Not a tall man but broad, he wore beneath his cloak a fine, if well used coat of mail that covered his chest, arms and thighs; fastened at the waist by a thick sword belt from which hung a plain scabbard with simple brass fittings. The mail, broken and patched in places, revealed a black padded and polished gambeson of leather underneath.
His left arm and shoulder were further protected by a mismatched set of plate. His left hand, sheathed in a battered gauntlet the quality of which could still be seen from the remaining silver inlay, rested upon the heavy unfussy pommel of his long straight sword. Well balanced, and with its blade honed on both sides to a razors edge it was a butcher’s tool, so unlike the dress swords worn by most of Al-Khetir’s courtiers.
The coif of his mail coat hung loose over the gathered hood of his mud spattered black cloak, the leather fastening straps flapping in the dying wind about a palm sized brazen clasp, fashioned in the shape of a raven.
His head, bare of a helmet or cap, showed his long salt and pepper hair, a gathering of which was shaped into the topknot so favoured by the tribesmen of the Cuimmi and the Whiddermen of the sleet whipped North. The rest was gathered loosely below the nape into an unruly plait that hung to his waist. Unshaven, broken nosed and lined with half a dozen scars, some of which cut into his beard, his face was not that of a man used to a soft existence. Yet for all that he was not an ugly man. His grey-green eyes showed wit and intellect, and his few friends, scattered as they were to the far north and east, would no doubt vouch that on the rare occasions that he chose to smile it belied a warmth of character that softened his usual feral looks.
Across his back was slung a plain leather bag, a canvas sack filled with arrows and a painted black war bow that from bone tip to bone tip measured a full hands breadth taller than its owner, the bone knocks again wrought into the shape of ravens.
His alien appearance was finished with a loose slung belt hanging from his left shoulder where it crossed his chest and was fixed to the sword belt with a brass fitting. From this were hung a simple leather covered buckler, battered and bent, seemingly having been used as a punching weapon as much as a defence against a sword; and two sheaths.
The first of these housed a common bone handled knife, typical of a soldier, and used for his everyday needs of cutting hempen rope, trimming leather straps and eating his food. The second concealed a ten inch blade of the finest steel, surmounted with a sharpened U-shaped guard designed not only to trap an opponent’s sword blade, but to puncture their flesh. The unusual dagger’s ivory handle was exquisitely carved into the likeness of two winged serpents entwined, whether as lovers or bitter foes it was impossible to tell.
Every so often as he marched the soldier would reach his closed right hand and nudge the buckler as if to try and cover the dragon handled blade, but the action of his walking would invariably cause it to reappear.
His right hand, itself sheathed in a black leather glove that reached half way to his mail-covered elbow, never unclenched, gripped fast around an object more curious and exotic than the soldier and the dragon wrought knife put together.
For though he didn’t know it, and though he would not have had the words in any of the dozen languages that that he could speak, he held in his fist the silver coloured handset of a mobile phone.
Somewhere above, the corpse shaped cloud slowly transformed itself into the likeness of a sprinting hare and continued its journey west, while far below a ragged cloaked soldier walked south towards a city.
………………
17/06/05
h.
A reworking of [link] to again try and get some of the more obvious typos out of there etc.
Set on the same continent/world as [link] and [link] possibly as part of alonger peice... This was the first of them to be written.
This started out as "just a peice of descriptive writing... stretching my legs around the description of a single characters appearance, with no real purpose other than preparing myself to once again get stuck back into my other longer piece (Shapers)."
"I had no idea how to end this so you have to forgive the way I sneaked out of rounding it of properly..."
Well that "cheat" ending gave me an idea that I am expanding on... All the Hesirion stories will be based around that idea.
h.
Set on the same continent/world as [link] and [link] possibly as part of alonger peice... This was the first of them to be written.
This started out as "just a peice of descriptive writing... stretching my legs around the description of a single characters appearance, with no real purpose other than preparing myself to once again get stuck back into my other longer piece (Shapers)."
"I had no idea how to end this so you have to forgive the way I sneaked out of rounding it of properly..."
Well that "cheat" ending gave me an idea that I am expanding on... All the Hesirion stories will be based around that idea.
h.
© 2005 - 2024 hesir
Comments5
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Editing:
"A cloud, the shape of a river bloated corpse, drifted lazily across the evening sky." river-bloated
"Far below, its sluggish progress was noticed and as quickly dismissed by a ragged cloaked soldier." ragged
"Short well made boots unfurnished with spurs, unusual for this country, tramped the beaten earth road."
Short, well-made
"Loose fitting hosen of black buckskin, strapped to the knee in the fashion of the northlander mercenaries, again rare for this country, showed a thick layer of dry dust from the sun blasted soil." Loose-fitting ; sun-blasted
"His left arm and shoulder were further protected by a mismatched set of plate. His left hand, sheathed in a battered gauntlet the quality of which could still be seen from the remaining silver inlay, rested upon the heavy unfussy pommel of his long straight sword." heavy, unfussy ; long, striaght
"Well balanced, and with its blade honed on both sides to a razors edge it was a butcher’s tool, so unlike the dress swords worn by most of Al-Khetir’s courtiers." razor's-- although I wouldn't personally use "razor's edge", as a razor edge on a sword that used for hacking, as the description tells me this one is, wouldn't hold up. It'd crumble. If your going for competence here, perhaps "keen" or some other variant.
"The coif of his mail coat hung loose over the gathered hood of his mud spattered black cloak, the leather fastening straps flapping in the dying wind about a palm sized brazen clasp, fashioned in the shape of a raven." mud-splatted ; the second clause, the bit with the leather fastening straps and the clasp doesn't read so well; the "about" throws it off, although I believe I understand what you're getting at.
"His head, bare of a helmet or cap, showed his long salt and pepper hair, a gathering of which was shaped into the topknot so favoured by the tribesmen of the Cuimmi and the Whiddermen of the sleet whipped North." sleet-whipped
"The rest was gathered loosely below the nape into an unruly plait that hung to his waist. Unshaven, broken nosed and lined with half a dozen scars, some of which cut into his beard, his face was not that of a man used to a soft existence." broken-nosed
"Yet for all that he was not an ugly man. His grey-green eyes showed wit and intellect, and his few friends, scattered as they were to the far north and east, would no doubt vouch that on the rare occasions that he chose to smile it belied a warmth of character that softened his usual feral looks." If he's smiling, it doesn't "belie" a warmth of character. It belies his feral look. Belie: to show to be false.
"Across his back was slung a plain leather bag, a canvas sack filled with arrows and a painted black war bow that from bone tip to bone tip measured a full hands breadth taller than its owner, the bone knocks again wrought into the shape of ravens." arrows, and ; hand's breadth
"The first of these housed a common bone handled knife, typical of a soldier, and used for his everyday needs of cutting hempen rope, trimming leather straps and eating his food." straps,
"Every so often as he marched the soldier would reach his closed right hand and nudge the buckler as if to try and cover the dragon handled blade, but the action of his walking would invariably cause it to reappear." marched,
"His right hand, itself sheathed in a black leather glove that reached half way to his mail-covered elbow, never unclenched, gripped fast around an object more curious and exotic than the soldier and the dragon wrought knife put together." dragon-wrought
"Somewhere above, the corpse shaped cloud slowly transformed itself into the likeness of a sprinting hare and continued its journey west, while far below a ragged cloaked soldier walked south towards a city." ragged, cloaked
/Editing.
The "river-bloated corpse" analogy immediately caught my attention. I like how it played out as well, the symmetry of it. And the bit about the mobile phone is puzzling.
A bit of advice, though. You use "well something" a lot. Perhaps try to find another way to word it? It's a good phrase, yes, but you don't want to overuse it.
"A cloud, the shape of a river bloated corpse, drifted lazily across the evening sky." river-bloated
"Far below, its sluggish progress was noticed and as quickly dismissed by a ragged cloaked soldier." ragged
"Short well made boots unfurnished with spurs, unusual for this country, tramped the beaten earth road."
Short, well-made
"Loose fitting hosen of black buckskin, strapped to the knee in the fashion of the northlander mercenaries, again rare for this country, showed a thick layer of dry dust from the sun blasted soil." Loose-fitting ; sun-blasted
"His left arm and shoulder were further protected by a mismatched set of plate. His left hand, sheathed in a battered gauntlet the quality of which could still be seen from the remaining silver inlay, rested upon the heavy unfussy pommel of his long straight sword." heavy, unfussy ; long, striaght
"Well balanced, and with its blade honed on both sides to a razors edge it was a butcher’s tool, so unlike the dress swords worn by most of Al-Khetir’s courtiers." razor's-- although I wouldn't personally use "razor's edge", as a razor edge on a sword that used for hacking, as the description tells me this one is, wouldn't hold up. It'd crumble. If your going for competence here, perhaps "keen" or some other variant.
"The coif of his mail coat hung loose over the gathered hood of his mud spattered black cloak, the leather fastening straps flapping in the dying wind about a palm sized brazen clasp, fashioned in the shape of a raven." mud-splatted ; the second clause, the bit with the leather fastening straps and the clasp doesn't read so well; the "about" throws it off, although I believe I understand what you're getting at.
"His head, bare of a helmet or cap, showed his long salt and pepper hair, a gathering of which was shaped into the topknot so favoured by the tribesmen of the Cuimmi and the Whiddermen of the sleet whipped North." sleet-whipped
"The rest was gathered loosely below the nape into an unruly plait that hung to his waist. Unshaven, broken nosed and lined with half a dozen scars, some of which cut into his beard, his face was not that of a man used to a soft existence." broken-nosed
"Yet for all that he was not an ugly man. His grey-green eyes showed wit and intellect, and his few friends, scattered as they were to the far north and east, would no doubt vouch that on the rare occasions that he chose to smile it belied a warmth of character that softened his usual feral looks." If he's smiling, it doesn't "belie" a warmth of character. It belies his feral look. Belie: to show to be false.
"Across his back was slung a plain leather bag, a canvas sack filled with arrows and a painted black war bow that from bone tip to bone tip measured a full hands breadth taller than its owner, the bone knocks again wrought into the shape of ravens." arrows, and ; hand's breadth
"The first of these housed a common bone handled knife, typical of a soldier, and used for his everyday needs of cutting hempen rope, trimming leather straps and eating his food." straps,
"Every so often as he marched the soldier would reach his closed right hand and nudge the buckler as if to try and cover the dragon handled blade, but the action of his walking would invariably cause it to reappear." marched,
"His right hand, itself sheathed in a black leather glove that reached half way to his mail-covered elbow, never unclenched, gripped fast around an object more curious and exotic than the soldier and the dragon wrought knife put together." dragon-wrought
"Somewhere above, the corpse shaped cloud slowly transformed itself into the likeness of a sprinting hare and continued its journey west, while far below a ragged cloaked soldier walked south towards a city." ragged, cloaked
/Editing.
The "river-bloated corpse" analogy immediately caught my attention. I like how it played out as well, the symmetry of it. And the bit about the mobile phone is puzzling.
A bit of advice, though. You use "well something" a lot. Perhaps try to find another way to word it? It's a good phrase, yes, but you don't want to overuse it.